Loveupmanship


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While there are amazing growth points in middle school, I have always said that if you can survive middle school mostly intact, you can get through almost anything. I hold my breath as one more child goes through. And while middle schoolers get a bad rap from this kind of behavior, the truth is: Some folks struggle with this into adulthood.

Insecurities can be slithery snakes that chokehold us from experiencing joy and hope for the future. Tags: 2 corinthians , children of God , fruit of the Spirit , galatians , greater love has no one than this , guard your heart in Christ Jesus , insecurities , insecurity problem , John , one-upmanship , peace of God , peace of mind , personal growth , philippians , put-down , sabotage relationships , self-control , self-doubt , self-esteem , self-focused , spirit of discontent , take every thought captive , tame the tongue , unrealistic expectations , victim mentality.

Share on Tumblr. Like this: Like Loading Blog at WordPress. Post to Cancel. Blessing and releasing, as you say, is the way to go…but still difficult to say the least. And to my great joy and surprise, one of these relationships actually has been renewed, with me coming from a whole new place, and it is now working beautifully, albeit quite differently than before.


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I truly believe that the blessing and releasing are what made this possible as well. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, Jane. Life constantly surprises and delights me. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Bless xx. I have been dealing with two toxic family members,they choose not to contact me no matter what i do.

Their actions were upsetting as i am the innocent party and it will never be resolved. I never thought that there were any problems with them. I was a criticiser in a relationship where I wanted to have it all on my terms, and somehow it just got out of hand and I stopped seeing that my demands were driving the person away. Thank you for this post Nicole. I think all of us at times have been the toxic one — but as we learn and grow, there are always better choices.

How blessed you are to have a friendship that has been such a powerful teacher for you. Much love to you, Lorna xx. Enormously helpful and I feel more confident that I am on the right path and managing these relationships in the right way. Rock on, in your awesome psychic raincoat!!! It means that mentally we bless them with love, and we let go of any and all expectations and responsibilities. They become like a stranger to us. We treat them with respect, and love, but not with intimacy and deeper connection. Especially today. Changing our expectations can make such a positive difference in our relationships.

Big hugs and love to you, Mani xx. I just love this post…. Thank you so much for pointing this out. If we come from a place of compassion and non-judgement it provides a better outcome for all concerned. Very pragmatic and important advice for people! Thank you for shining a light on an area that is crucial!! Love how you tackle and approach all issues, even the challenging and threatening, in the most lovely and loving of ways……… Bless You!!!!

Your mechanisms for coping are exactly what I need to do.

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I need to accept them for who they are and just move on. I really struggle with that one when it comes to my mother. The timing of this post was pinpointed exactly right for me. I have some toxic relatives visiting right now and was needing a way to shield myself from the situation. Psychic raincoat is the perfect exercise. Thank you for your timing. You truly seem to care about your readers—it is so important to know the various types of toxic people — recognize and eliminate them so your life can be joyful. This is some really good stuff.

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Better than destroying yourself to benefit another, who will not generally appreciate the sacrifice anyway. Family in particular is tough — like really tough, so thx Nicole for sharing your tips to deal with that.

I have gained a lot from that and feel more assured that I am doing the right thing and managing it in the right way. Bless X. Yes, Brenda — same here. It was difficult at first to know whether to cut them off completely or as you said, no longer dance the same old dance. I found the section on dealing with family enormously helpful. Thank you beautiful Nicole X. Great post, Nicole. These are some really great coping techniques too. I think the idea of a psychic raincoat is just brilliant.

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It certainly does. And your description of a raincoat is possibly easier to imagine sometimes than white lighting which I tend to do. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel. These people are self-absorbed.

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They thrive on drama and being the centre of attention. They have an ability to turn everything back to being about them. These people are usually narcissists. They are Masters of emotional blackmail. They disempower you with insidious put-downs often in front of others , insults, belittling, shaming and embarrassing.

Criticisers and Comparers. You are never good enough, and they always know how you should be doing it. They have a fixed idea of who you should be and how you should behave and it will make you feel devalued and misunderstood. They may be know-it-alls or bullies. Perpetual Downers. These people suck the joy out of life. They are often angry at the world and down on everything. They believe that the world is against them and they have a victim mentality.

Crazy Makers. Crazy Makers are unstable. If it suits me. They are in this for what you can give them. There is no respect. They are insincere. You want the relationship more than they do, and they know it, and take advantage of it. Get help, or get out. Or both! Listen with your Eyes But what if they are family? If you need to stay, here are some strategies to help you cope better: Stop needing them to be something that they are not. One of the most important reasons that we feel unfulfilled in family relationships is because we needed the other person to be different. Accept them as they are, and come to grips with that.

Once we let go of wanting our mother to be wise, or our father to be accepting of us, or our sister to share their emotions with us, or our brother to include us, we let go of being constantly disappointed. You can get to a place of grace with this, so that you can truly understand that this is just who they are, and sit without judgement on that. Acceptance is something we all want. You can love them without liking their behaviour.

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